Having recently turned 40, my twin sister and I decided it would be the perfect opportunity for a holiday.
And when I say holiday, I mean an actual grown up holiday for a whole week without the kids!
With my sister working for Air New Zealand, we decided to base the holiday around flying into Los Angeles, USA. With so many options on offer, but limited by the fact the trip was in February, we decided to go skiing.
Everything quickly fell into place. We found an amazing ski resort, booked fantastic hotels and my husband took a week off work to look after the kids. Sorted.
And then the fear set in. You know, the parental fear that hits you when you leave the comfort of your little family bubble and decide to do something for yourself.
Having been a stay at home for over 7 years, everything I do revolves around my kids. Of course I have been away for weekends before, but I’ve never left them for so long.
As much as I tried to reason with the situation, by reminding myself that it’s safe to fly to another country and that this is a one off celebration for my 40th birthday, that constant feeling of fear was always in the back of my mind.
What if something bad happened just because Mummy wanted a holiday? Is the risk too big just so that I can go have fun for a week? Will the kids hate me for going on holiday without them?
Thoughts such as these kept running through my mind and I found myself constantly reassuring
myself the kids that I was just going away for a week and that before they knew it I would be home again.
Most of my little chats with the older two were met with blank faces as I think they got bored of me talking about it! But at least I could explain to them what was happening. For my two year old, I was basically just going to disappear one day and then return a week later.
And then it hit me. Get over yourself!
Yes, the kids will miss me but I am not the only person who is capable of looking after them. They will be absolutely fine as they are with their Dad. It will be a great opportunity for them to spend some time alone with him and for my husband to spend a week at home.
I will be able to speak to them whenever I like and they will be able to see what I’m up to easily as, lets face it, I am having a massive affair with Instagram!
It will also give me the chance to spend some time with my sister, get some well earned rest and the opportunity to focus on my passion, which is travelling. I have given up a lot of myself since becoming a Mum and this is my chance to regain a bit of self again.
Not to mention lazy mornings, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and sleeping on the plane. To name but a few benefits of not travelling with three children!
So today, as I got to the airport and said goodbye to the kids, I walked onto the plane with my head held high, safe in the knowledge that I had made the right decision.
I refuse to live my life in fear and it’s okay to be selfish once in a while as I am an important member of this family too.
Feel the parental fear and do it anyway.